Walk Away

This should be my mantra I think. In a way, it'd be a very good mantra. It could solve any situation you encounter, be it happy/sad/uncomfortable/angry/scary.....
New guy is out. Lets be honest, that one was going nowhere anyway. So I'm gonna walk away from that.
Celebrated the besties b-day last night. I knew there was a chance that the ex and the ex's new gf would be there (this is reason number 378 why you should never date within your circle). But in the spirit of happy birthday-ness I said I wasn't going to let it bother me. I halfway lucked out, the gf didn't come. But the ex sure did. It was....weird. It was the 5 of us, sitting around the same table playing poker...exactly like we have several times over the past 2 summers. But this time the entire dynamic was off. Couple that with the tequila that was going down way to easily and....drinking always leads to thinking it seems. I just kept telling myself to walk away...don't go down that particular memory lane. Theres nothing down there you want to reminisce about anyway. Walk away.
I've been refinding my faith this summer. It started after the now infamous break up (I swear this is going to be the last blog that mentions this!!) but I found a new church and with it a new outlook. It's been the most positive experience I've had all summer and the best part is I get to have it every single Sunday. And because of that I've been rethinking my actions. Walk away. Leave everything thats keeping me from being where I want to be. Just start walkin...

Ranting today

My brain has been slightly scizophrenic this summer. I spent the first several weeks ridiculously depressed, followed by several weeks of being blissfully happy and content. And for the past 2 days I've been feeling that angry bitter girl that sometimes inhibits my body coming out in a slightly United States of Tara way. I'll explain.
Two nights ago I stopped by my bff's house for a minute to drop something off on my way to hang out with new guy. As I was leaving my bff's, my ex was arriving. Unsure of whether to say hi or just keep walking, I casually glanced up as we passed each other in the driveway. However, whatever idea I'd entertained of being even the tinniest bit polite to this person was quickly diminished as he LOOKED THE OTHER WAY!!!
Are you kidding me?? First of all, I am nothing if not polite. It takes an awful lot of wrongdoing on your part for me to not be at the very least polite to you. And you've done a lot of wrong here lately, but because of our history I am still willing to be nice. Second of all, we are adults. I might not have helped the situation but I certainly didn't cause or create it. For someone who was so concerned with me hating you, you've certainly done a bang up job at preventing that!
Maybe part of my being angry has more to do with my reaction and less to do with his actions. I shouldn't care about this person. I shouldn't care that what he thinks of me or how he acts around me. But damn, I do.

The best things in life are free!

I wish I knew exactly how many calories laughing burned, because I think I could definitely manage to drop a few lbs just by hanging out with my friends everyday! I had zero expectations going into this summer and so far I have gotton so much more out of it than I could have ever thought possible. I've learned at lot, I've laughed a lot and I've loved every minute of it.
Two months ago one of the several girls who keep me going told me that there are so many people who care deeply for me that I'm not even aware of. She was right. I have been surprised at the number of people who have come out of nowhere to be there for me. I have the greatest support group standing behind me and because of them I feel like I can conquer the world. And I will!